Chitty Chitty One Bang! Published 01/03/18 on Irons United
I had hoped Moyes could have disappeared into his coaching shed with a team of rolling rust and seized bolts…crash and bang for solid days to emerge shiny, smiley, inspiring and full of surprises. A formula to silence malevolent barons and a baroness, to ensnare the catcher of child’s dreams and to serve us up a feast that was truly scrumptious.
We’re in deep now, stuck and energy spent! We need a Christmas miracle to drag us out of this ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ We’re heading west this coming trial and we shall be tested by a Swansea team who have breached beyond desperation and will be ready for an invasion of equally frenzied men.
West Ham United ownership have failed the fans in delivery of smooth transitions and worldly players that would mount a credible challenge to higher plains. Moyes has faltered when momentum was calling and situations pleaded for earlier substitutions. The support look upon dwindling hopes and shattered dreams whilst the players scramble to defend any honour that remains.
Since last August, I have heard fans bemoan…as I have! I have witnessed frustrations, dissections and apathy to be replaced by short-lived fortitude, resilience and tactical sprite. The smoke clears and the dust settles whilst we appraise our predicaments and attempt to find solutions that would see the team clear the field with victorious chatter and relieved banter.
There are but ten games left for Moyes to give us a glimmer of hope, to save his blushes and restore faith in a man that arrived with strong purpose but has kept us perilously close to the flame. We face Swansea, Burnley and Southampton in our next three fixtures, with a long pause in-between that would stifle any rolling stones that would batter and ram our way through opposing defences. These are those ‘must win’ games now! This isn’t paying lip service or proliferating another sound bite that would not look out of place on a quick firing sketch show. This is not a comedy! This has been an absolute P. G. Wodehouse farce form start to finish…and the horizon is overcast with dark clouds and tragic ends.
We have run out of time to allow teams to steam roll over us with indignity and for it to not harm our aspirations. I have reeled against optimism since the Liverpool exhibition match where we failed to close down the game and make a draw plausible and a win fanciful. The players, who no doubt have attempted to deliver improving performances, have struggled to be consistent and be unified in purpose and determination. We still have interlopers and shirkers within our ranks that would weaken our resolve whilst others work overtime in desperation.
Our run in to the end of the season is filled with fixtures that cannot be lost…even parities would be unwelcome. The bottom half of the league is too close to call as all are matched in naivety, talent gaps and confidence. All have been inconsistent and have taken to taking chunks out of each other with occasional resistance to teams fighting for European dominions.
Amongst the mountain of challenges and the peaks of dismay, West Ham will also face the cream of this season to add to our woes. Manchester United, Manchester City, Arsenal and Chelsea will be waiting to knock six bells out of our team that stands spent and wobbling upon shattered hopes…all we can hope for is another Moyes revolution that will force the team to batten down the hatches, dig out the long spears to fend them off until the final whistle.
There is little indulgence that would allow our players to roam free spirited, with wanton abandon and creative spark, for we have exhausted our times and slots…now facing linear purpose to arrive at trusted targets. A bleakness will descend over us now, to block out light that shone bright and that would rest those superfluous amidst us in favour of the burly and the hurry!
If you’re not alarmed, then perhaps your cup will always be full. If you’re not concerned then the blinkers you fashion may need rethinking for it gives you a myopic view of our predicament and clouds reasoning that would see us overcome this battle, one and all to come. West Ham cannot afford to drop points now…every game must have a positive result. Even the best teams in the land would not welcome so sanguine and such imposing pressure.
It now falls upon those players within the squad, whom have claret and blue imprinted on their souls to lead a pack of wanderers to deliver performances that can inspire us to victory in each encounter. For the remaining ten fixtures, there has to be unity like never before. They have to work for each other, create chances by shedding concrete boots and service the needs of our offenders in the box.
We need Noble to lead and compose, Lanzini to supply & create, Arnautovic and Hernandez to bubble, boil and explode into life. We must be strong at the back on down our flanks…Collins, Ogbonna and Cresswell to arise as gladiators we know they can be. Zabaleta, Antonio, Masuaku to deliver on promises and atone for shameful absences. We need Kouyate to kick on…box to box and not be overtaken by lullabies and metronomic counters. We need them to be a team, to fight for each other and fight for our very survival.
We must play our West Ham Way…even if this will be its first outing. We cannot resort to hopeful punts upfield with little support and even less endeavour. We must rally together, unite the fans in song and urge the boys onto win again and again. We should not entertain any notion of capitulation or settling for a draw or a hard fought loss…we must aim high, shoot fast and return with the spoils of our engagements.
We have ten games to make this count…we have but one shot to get this right. We don’t have time for any ‘Chu-Chi Face’ or any Chitty Chitty One Bang…we need our team to deliver performances and results! If not…then it’s all over and the Championship awaits!